Love victims, what should you understand about their psychology?
This feeling of worthlessness seriously jeopardizes the desire to survive: a fatal accident can then finish them off.
Many of us live as victims of a divorce imposed by an unfaithful partner. A certain psychic work takes place, imposed by this serious narcissistic wound of the self-image: de-idealization of the other and of the couple, recognition of a failure. But not all of them go beyond this stage, and maintain themselves as victims, protectively, without supporting the idea of their own personal psychic participation in this failure entirely attributed to the other. Without becoming quite paranoid, they hardly progress in critical awareness of themselves. They are therefore often led to urgently seek a new, compensatory couple, while equally expecting from the new partner what the first lacked. New couple therefore referred to the first, negatively more than positively, and whose probability of survival is hardly greater than that of the first. Others, often more affected by failure, feel intensely the narcissistic wound sent back to them by a personal image of inability to be loved. This feeling of worthlessness seriously jeopardizes the desire to survive: a fatal accident can then finish them off. Others, deeply wounded however, construct more or less durable arrangements, by which their narcissistic balance is reorganized, that is to say a sufficiently positive image of oneself. They invest in other objects, in the psychoanalytic sense of the term: profession, activities, friendships, ideals, etc., as well as new ties, family or not. It is under renewed psychic conditions that they will be able to make new life choices. Our observation supports the idea that it takes time, an authentic time of solitude, at least without any new hasty couple bond, with analgesic function: the time, perhaps, to learn to depend less on the affects of others, and the love of only one other, supposed to fill all the personal shortcomings.